1. |
Happy to be Here
03:13
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they say it get's easier
the further you're along but
i feel like a freak of nature
i feel like throwing up
i don't know where i'm going it
hurts to think that far ahead so
i'm just hangin on my best but i'm
starting to lose my grip and
i'm sorry that i'm not
what you thought i'd be by now
i'm so close to giving up
not sure why i stick around when
every day is something that i'm
not sure that i'll make it to the
end of so don't worry and
let's live today like we
won't get another
let's live today like we're
happy to be here
i'm happy to be here
it's hard when you fight yourself
at every fuckin turn well
heres to hoping it gets better
heres why it never will
they expect perfection in this
world full of abuse and
getting out is getting lucky
at least that's my excuse so
im sorry that im not
even close to what i could be
i think i'm too far gone so
let's pretend to believe that
every day is okay and i'm
not too worried about me so
please say something else -- like
let's live today like we
won't get another
let's live today like we're
happy to be here
i'm happy to be
here right now
even though im so burnt out
trying any thing that
i think i can handle
nothing yet to show
i'm still roughing out the edges
figuring things out but
it's never what they
say it gets easier
the further you're along but
i'm just a freak of nature
i am just fucked up and
every day is crushing oh and
nothing seems to help me i'm
not worth all this trouble so
let's live today like we
won't get another
let's just live today like we're
happy to be here
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2. |
Along for the Ride
02:45
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this ones for when things felt normal
whatever the fuck that used to mean
thought i could afford to live
and maybe i was free
back before i knew
much of anything
so now this ones for all my bad decisions
the ones that still bite me in the ass
getting somewhere brings you nowhere
that's all i ever learned
cause when you're in the dirt
you're just another fucking worm
and i don't wanna go back now
but i can't keep moving forward
i'm surviving every day
and that's more than i can endure
maybe i'll make amends
maybe i'm fucked til the very end
but i'll hold on cause
i'm just along for the ride
this ones for all my second chances
the ones that i truly didn't earn
make a difference make a scene
it's all the same to me
right back where you started
good intentions crumbling
now this ones for one more broken promise
another one that i just couldn't keep
well nothings ever set in stone
but you knew that by now
stop looking for excuses
buckle up and settle down
cause i don't wanna go back now
but i can't keep moving forward
i'm surviving every day
and that's more than i can endure
maybe i'll make amends
maybe i'm fucked til the very end
but i'll hold on cause
i'm just along for the ride
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3. |
Outside In
01:55
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quit hanging on a second
i'm tired of being misunderstood
not everything isn't what it seems
to believe you're wrong
come again i couldn't catch that
you're not making any sense
everything's a jumbled mess i
think i'll get going before i'm conscious
who wants to hear a sick mind
unaware of what's going on
wake up you're not dreaming yet
stop hiding nobody's looking
i wanna make it stop this
let go i'm sorry you just heard
what are you doing here please
i think i'm falling to pieces
i think i'm falling to pieces
who knows what's going on i
can't tell you what's really real
i think if you think about it less
it'll make a little less more sense
i think you know the truth
i think you're clueless and confused
glued to truths you used to
knew you knew you knew you knew
if you could just get past this
if you could just understand
sense is what it makes you see
not what you thought it couldn't be
i wanna make this stop it's
so loud i can't see you now
can we just go to sleep i a
think i'm falling to pieces
i think i'm falling to pieces
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4. |
Delirious
02:04
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i tried to hold it against you
i thought you had it wrong
i just wish i understood
why you did it after all
after all the things we've been through
the things we try to leave
cause we all have got our problems
demons we can't believe
that they're still here
and they still have some control of us
after all you tried to forget
maybe it's not so bad
so bad after all
do you think about it often
do you try not to compare
someone gone and who they were
to who you are to what was there
after all the things we've been through
the things we leave behind
jokes that still strike up laughter
how you're presence felt in mine
why are you still here
why do you still have some control of me
after all i tried to forget
maybe it's not so bad
so bad after all
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5. |
Moving Day
01:47
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i wish that i was able to
feel any sort of stable so that
i could give back to everyone
that got me where i am now
and i know i seem distressed a lot
i'm really just a mess who thought
you can handle anything
all alone
and i'm doing pretty well
making my way right through hell
got my feet on the ground
and i'm running off nowhere fast
i don't think i'm insane
but i got problems in my brain
maybe if i leave then things will be alright
just please don't hate me for this
thought i had a back up plan
instead i had some issues with who i am
so i took off running without a clue
it's a pattern it's a problem it's what i do
what's the point when a bottle of pills
won't do the job right or maybe it's my fault
for just existing just minding my business
i don't think anyone should have to live this way
maybe i'll never learn
it's getting real hard to discern
what to do and how to do it and well
if i gotta do it alone
maybe i need some change
i'm sorry i can't really is explain
maybe if i leave then things will be alright
just please don't hate me for this
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6. |
Isolated
03:34
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every day drags on when
you're always stuck on the inside
while the world falls apart and
and i keep losing my mind
nothing seems to be the same
as just the other day again
change is coming and i'm runnin
but i can't catch up like this
i've been asleep
haven't felt rested in weeks
i feel so weak
at least i feel
anything
don't worry about me
i'm doing fine
still drinking coffee in the morning
getting fucked up every night
and every day
til the aches start to fade
i'll waste away
and that's okay
i've been staying up to see if
it's really darkest before dawn
but it just keeps feeling darker here
and i've been up for so long
maybe if i just admit that
i've been doing this all wrong
you won't hate me and just maybe
i could get through another month
i've been asleep
haven't felt rested in weeks
i feel so weak
at least i feel
anything
don't worry about me
i'm doing fine
still drinking coffee in the morning
getting fucked up every night
and every day
til the aches start to fade
i'll waste away
and that's okay
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today i am Detroit, Michigan
i'm amber this is my musical mess hope you like!
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